There is a lot of talk going around with people of our generation. I’m not sure what the technical term is for our generation. I know we aren’t baby boomers. Maybe generation x or y. It doesn’t really matter one way or the other. Because I want to speak more about the TALK that is running rampant among us. This talk is about studying abroad. Our fathers and mothers did not have the chance to study abroad, mainly because of the Vietnam War and issues with Cuba. Most of our parents have not ever been out of the country, and they are fine with that. But they are meat and potatoes people. They are completely content with never setting foot outside of the state. And that is how it should be. If God had wanted us to be travelers, he would not have given us crops. You can’t live without crops, and you can’t travel and have crops. Therefore, you cannot travel and live. In today’s society, we are able to find loopholes in the Natural Order, largely through organizations such as Monsanto’s and Immigrant Labor. But I believe that this is a bad thing. People should not travel. And you should never date someone who travels. On the interweb, there have been some articles arising that say why you should look for a mate who has a bit of wanderlust in them. Today, I sit down at my keyboard to try and debunk those ways of thinking. I do not debunk because I wish to be narrow-minded (Like Ken Ham), I debunk because I would hate to see this generation make the same mistakes that the generation of the 60’s did, and throw away our futures on dreams based on false visions of grandeur that stem from an incomplete understanding of what I like to call, Human Nature.
The first reason to never date a traveler is because they are sluts. The most widely used synonym for “traveler” is “wanderlust.” In today’s society, the world wanderlust simply means someone who is restless and does not stay in one place for very long. But if we trace the word back to its roots, “wander” comes from the Greek word “wondros” which means “anybody” and the word lust, which is the Latin word, “to bang.” So to say that one has wanderlust actually means that they will bang anybody.
The second reason to never date somebody who travels is that they generally have a much lower standard for hygiene than most people. In the Sahara desert, the people are called Bedouins, which is literally translated, “camel brother.” These nomads believe that they are descended from a common father as the camels that they ride, and thus, they treat the humped beasts as family members, and held themselves to the same hygienic standards that the camels used. In studying genetics, Gregor Medelev discovered that the Bedouins have a certain gene that makes them more prone to move about. Through generations of interracial breeding, anyone these days who does have the nomad mentality is 98% likely to have the same genes as the Bedouins who see themselves as camel siblings.
The third reason to never date a traveler is because you will never have anything nice. Travelers do not want nice things, because nice things hold you in place. You can’t take a porcelain vase on a plane. If you want nice things, don’t date a traveler.
Travelers are afraid of commitment. Commitment issues are the second biggest culprit for defining who is a traveler and who is a normal, God-fearing homebody (the biggest reason is the faulty genetics passed down by the Bedouins.). A fear of having to be there for somebody (or something, for example, crops) compels many people with commitment issues to turn to travel as a way to separate themselves from those who love them, care about them, and want to be with them. As the old Chinese proverb says, “He who loves a traveler is always alone, because the setting sun can only darken one bed.”
Travelers do not like animals. Unless it is a camel, travelers think that animals are a waste of time and affection. You cannot travel with a pet. At least not practically. But travelers do not like animals, so they are content to forfeit the Natural bond that God gave between Mankind and the Animal Kingdom in order to rove the globe.
There are many more reasons not to date one. They are more likely to abandon their children, divorce rates where one or both partners is a traveler are 70% higher, the underdeveloped sense of patriotism, poor scores on loyalty tests, and even some studies that link autistic childred to traveler parents. But I don't have time to write about the plethora of problems that travelers bring to the table. If you want to know more, please read my blog or attend one of my seminars.
Also, thank you to Kelsey Delaney Hinken for giving me the borrowship of her computer in order to write this.
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